The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
