I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
