Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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