Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
