U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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