But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
