Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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