Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
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