I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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