I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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