I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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