It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
