it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Help. Why am I so naked?
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