4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I think my moral compass just broke
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize