he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
