My cat gives me a boner
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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