Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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