Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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