the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I'm having to shit out rocks
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