cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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