normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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