so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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