He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
