i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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