I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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