Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
