so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
