Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
