my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
