I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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