ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize