he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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