HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
