Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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