Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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