He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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