I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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