So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
