Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
