i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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