This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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