my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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