what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
