I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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