So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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