Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Of course I have a pirate flag
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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