I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
cat food counts as protein by the way
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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