Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
