In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
