no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
