You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
