i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
