I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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