At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
