Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
