That's intense
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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