i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize