you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
