The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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