hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
